Have I ever tell you how wonderful my supervisors are? They are, they are the best supervisors that one could ever wish for. And I couldn’t help but felt anxious that I’m going to let them down.

Especially of late when everything is moving at a snail pace.

Ironic isn’t it? The more I want something to work, the lower the likelihood of it succeeding. If I am a superstitious person, I would have thought I have been jinxed or had a curse placed on me. No matter how much time and effort I am putting in, I am just not getting everything right as I want it to be.

As a result I may have been putting in considerable amount of time in the lab, and I think my PI is starting to be worried. Yesterday, prior to him leaving the lab, as usual he would say goodbye in general to everyone, but he came to me and told me not to stay in too late.

I nearly cried at his concern.

So I am in search of new motivation today and try to pull myself together and start to be logical at everything again. There’s nothing like knowing that you have good support behind you to get you going again.

Sonata in three parts

13 March 2008

Transcript from Men in Trees:

Love has a funny way of coming around again. It’s kind of like a sonata, but…

What do you mean?

Oh, every sonata has three movements, and the first one, the melody, is new… often lively. But the second part, the part you’re hearing right now, things can get a little dark and murky, and you can’t always hear the theme. But the third part always comes back to the beginning. Things have a way of working themselves out.

I fervently wish this is true, and that the second part will be over not so long from now. It is hard to see any sign of flickering light when you are lost, deep in a cave somewhere unknown, the uncharted territory.

A walk in the countryside

20 January 2008

Nothing like a good walk in the countryside to take my mind of all stress and worries, and to clear my head a little.

AL and I were at N’s on Friday for a sleepover. A very much welcomed break if you asked me, and convenient too as my script is churning out results at a painful rate at the moment. I am also tired of checking every few minutes just to see the progress crawling along slowly but steadily.

We girls may have stayed up late on Friday for some chit chats, but came Saturday morning, we were all geared for a walk nearby N’s house. It was absolutely beautiful, serene and calm. We were not that far away from the city centre, and yet we are very much with the nature around here. With a beach about 5 minutes walk away, a wood just beyond that, and a path linking the wood to a playground, we joined the dozen or so walkers in basking ourselves with the chirping of birds and the scent of fresh soil and wet wood.

We came back famished after the walk.

At the same time, I felt tension leaving my shoulders, and I was much relaxed for the first time in a fortnight or so. It was very tempting after that to just laze around instead of doing some work. However, on the other hand, having a clearer mind meant I was very much mentally prepared to fire a few neurons and come up with some work solutions.

I told myself that the little walk is a mini reward to myself for now. The big trip is coming up, and so I smiled to myself – I knew that I would be doing some work over the weekend, all without grudge. I should do this more often – taking a walk in the countryside for a couple of hours, just so to rediscover a sense of motivation after getting rid of all troubles that plague me during the course of working periods.