Near meltdown

25 January 2008

Looks like this one busy bee is not keeping her cool at all.

Yup, I am talking about myself.

I nearly had a meltdown yesterday morning, upon realisation that after weeks of working endlessly (or so it seems), I am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Instead, with every part of analysis that I manage to complete, two new ones to follow crop up. Will I ever going to come close to finishing anything up at all? Or is it all a big illusion?

To take holiday time right now is relatively reckless…

But I was brought back to my senses. My friend CM who recently handed in her thesis said to stop worrying, as this is how I am going to feel throughout this year as my deadline pushes closer and closer to the horizon. I need to keep my cool, and focus at one thing at a time. As for holidays, she encourages me to go ahead and take a few days to myself. She regretted not doing the same last year, leading to some very stressful periods of time that she just wasn’t productive at all despite being at work.

“I could have just gone for holiday and came home feeling better, and ready to tackle more work.”

(Well, something to that effect. My brain just plainly refused to cooperate further.)

So off I went to the airport and grabbed my flights as scheduled to Paris.

Not that this means I’m freeing myself entirely from work in the next few days. I’m going to just have fun for the first couple of days, and then spend at least a couple of hours each day looking into the progression of my work (I have programs working away on the server, churning up results) and check on things in general.

I’m going to have to find some way to get connected when I am in Malaysia so that I could do the same. Afterall, that trip would be a 2-weeks trip, and a tad too long to be away from work completely. But I don’t have much choice. I cannot not attend one of my best friends’ wedding!


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