Real Happiness

23 November 2007

Dear nearly-a-SO,

“Happiness is real only when shared.”

I was at the cinema today where the final message of the movie that I had just seen was just as above. How true that is. I know I have never told you this but when I’m with you, I’m happy happy, you know. I have no wants of anything, except you. Just you. And sharing. Laughters. Conversations. Hugs. Kisses. Silence.

Yes, even the silence.

Apart, my insecurities bubble up to the surface. I know not what you’re thinking, feeling, sensing. This sends my emotions on a yo-yo. Up and down. Up and down. It’s perpetual anxiety because of the unknowns, but I have been rationalising them away too.

Right now, I just want to enjoy the connection that we have, and forget about all the practicalities of the world. It may seem silly to everyone, as I’m opening myself to a lot of hurt should this non-relationship between us doesn’t go anywhere that I’d like to see it heading for. But I remind myself. There’s no one else who makes me as happy as you do, and I’ll just cherish that for now.

The talks, can come later, when I am ready to face all possible outcomes, even if it takes a turn for the worse…


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